I groped through the darkness, sifting through alibies to find him. Where had he gone? Only yesterday he laughed and played in green grass. I looked through the window and watched. Today the swing sits empty. The glass between us etches visions of a cement playground part of me built. I was complicit.
They said they understood. Amidst their sincerity, no clue. Void of benefit, good intentions bode far better than whispers and glances others thought I couldn't perceive. None knew the weakness it caused, the strength needed to walk my path. Neighbor's perfect children would never fall into this abyss of deceit. Mine was perfect, too. I was the fool.
Young mother, rebellion. Rejection, wrong crowd. Poor decisions, lost dreams. Falling for lies, a simpler choice. He was addicted. I was afraid.
Hate engulfed my angel. Hell, my home of peace. The deeper he delved into tunnels of forgetfulness, the higher violence rose to the surface. I was alone.
Desperate to save his soul, I raced to his side. My efforts to lift him from darkness, blackened his night all the more. I enabled him.
Endless years of wonderings and weariness brought me to my knees; nothing left. Only he can break the spell. How much farther it would drive him, no one else cared. I am broken hearted.
Praying, hoping. Wishing, waiting. Someday, somehow. Perhaps this is the end. Turning, returning the glimmer to his eye. We will be free.
No comments:
Post a Comment